Blurbs by TheFFRotoGuruGuy

Training Camp Vids Nominated For Emmy

While most of the 2019 Emmy nominations were revealed on July 16, the Academy made an announcement late last night that a new category (Best Training Camp Vid By A Beat Reporter) would be added for the 71st Emmy Awards on September 22. Said Television Academy Chairman & Ceo Frank Scherma, “I’ve had my mind absolutely blown by some of these videos posted from training camp. The way the videographers are often hundreds of feet away from the action; the players barely recognizable; the accompanying captions so stirring–these men and women on the front lines have taken information sharing and turned it into art form–an art form we think should be recognized and celebrated.”

Expect to see even more grainy training camp vids in the wake of this stunning announcement.

While most of the 2019 Emmy nominations were revealed on July 16, the Academy made an announcement late last night that a new category (Best Training Camp Vid By A Beat Reporter) would be added for the 71st Emmy Awards on September 22. Said Television Academy Chairman & Ceo Frank Scherma, “I’ve had my mind absolutely blown by some of these videos posted from training camp. The way the videographers are often hundreds of feet away from the action; the players barely recognizable; the accompanying captions so stirring–these men and women on the front lines have taken information sharing and turned it into art form–an art form we think should be recognized and celebrated.”

Expect to see even more grainy training camp vids in the wake of this stunning announcement.

Dermatologist Confirms Nathan Peterman Is Growing On Gruden

The small rash was spotted on Tuesday as part of Gruden’s annual check-up.

The rash should go away in 2-3 weeks assuming the prescribed topical ointment is applied twice a day as recommended.

The small rash was spotted on Tuesday as part of Gruden’s annual check-up.

The rash should go away in 2-3 weeks assuming the prescribed topical ointment is applied twice a day as recommended.

DK Metcalf “A Distraction” At Seahawks Training Camp

Local beat reporters have witnessed Metcalf derail practice multiple times by requesting staged photos with the wide receivers. Metcalf was seen placing the wide receivers from shortest to tallest and asking photographers to “really capture the juxtaposition.” Metcalf was later overheard giggling: “It’s like the cell phone bars on your phone! Or one of those Russian nesting doll things! I’m the momma doll!!!”

 It’s become very clear that D.K. Metcalf is the biggest Seahawks receiver and he should be drafted accordingly.

Local beat reporters have witnessed Metcalf derail practice multiple times by requesting staged photos with the wide receivers. Metcalf was seen placing the wide receivers from shortest to tallest and asking photographers to “really capture the juxtaposition.” Metcalf was later overheard giggling: “It’s like the cell phone bars on your phone! Or one of those Russian nesting doll things! I’m the momma doll!!!”

 It’s become very clear that D.K. Metcalf is the biggest Seahawks receiver and he should be drafted accordingly.

Stephen Gilmore Salvages Sunken Ship For Training Camp Entrance

As previously reported, Jaguars cornerback Jalen Ramsey arrived at training camp in an armored truck. The move has triggered a dangerous game of entrance one upmanship. Not to be outdone, New England Patriots cornerback Stephon Gilmore spent hundreds of millions of dollars salvaging and restoring the 697-foot sunken ship, S.S. Andrea Doria, off the coast of Nantucket and converting it into a fully functional Duck Boat that he then captained to Gillette Stadium on Tuesday.

The impressive move by Gilmore solidifies him as the best cornerback in the game.

As previously reported, Jaguars cornerback Jalen Ramsey arrived at training camp in an armored truck. The move has triggered a dangerous game of entrance one upmanship. Not to be outdone, New England Patriots cornerback Stephon Gilmore spent hundreds of millions of dollars salvaging and restoring the 697-foot sunken ship, S.S. Andrea Doria, off the coast of Nantucket and converting it into a fully functional Duck Boat that he then captained to Gillette Stadium on Tuesday.

The impressive move by Gilmore solidifies him as the best cornerback in the game.

Marquise Goodwin’s Pinky Eaten By Tiger

What seemed to start out as a harmless inter-species friendship turned catastrophic on Tuesday when Marquise Goodwin’s pinky finger was eaten by a tiger just moments after they posed for a photo. A source says Goodwin was seen petting the tiger’s face while saying “Goochy goo, you’re so cute my wittle cuddle wuddly” before the attack occurred.

Dane Pettis is now expected to see more work on the outside.

What seemed to start out as a harmless inter-species friendship turned catastrophic on Tuesday when Marquise Goodwin’s pinky finger was eaten by a tiger just moments after they posed for a photo. A source says Goodwin was seen petting the tiger’s face while saying “Goochy goo, you’re so cute my wittle cuddle wuddly” before the attack occurred.

Dane Pettis is now expected to see more work on the outside.