Blurbs by RotoBroski

Peyton Barber Leaves Practice in a Plodding Boot

Buccaneers RB Peyton Barber left Saturday’s practice after suffering an apparent ankle injury, and per Head Athletic Trainer Bobby Slater will be in a plodding boot for at least the next two weeks. “Most guys with this type of injury get a walking boot, but we had something specially made for Peyton after he averaged 3.7 yards per carry last year,” Slater said.

While this certainly isn’t great for Barber, fantasy owners shouldn’t panic just yet. Even if Barber’s ankle is broken, he’ll probably still start over Ronald Jones for some reason.

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

Buccaneers RB Peyton Barber left Saturday’s practice after suffering an apparent ankle injury, and per Head Athletic Trainer Bobby Slater will be in a plodding boot for at least the next two weeks. “Most guys with this type of injury get a walking boot, but we had something specially made for Peyton after he averaged 3.7 yards per carry last year,” Slater said.

While this certainly isn’t great for Barber, fantasy owners shouldn’t panic just yet. Even if Barber’s ankle is broken, he’ll probably still start over Ronald Jones for some reason.

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

Dolphins Super Bowl Odds Skyrocket After Allen Hurns Signing

Miami sent shockwaves through the football world on Friday, signing megastar free agent WR Allen Hurns. Vegas sportsbooks have responded accordingly, moving the Dolphins from 500-1 to co-favorites with the Chiefs at 7-1.  Some books, like Caesar’s, have gone even further, making the Dolphins favorites against the field at 1-5 odds.  Bovada has taken the bet off the board entirely.

This was to be expected after the big news on Friday morning.  There’s no doubt that money has come pouring in on the Dolphins over the last several hours, from both the public and sharps alike.  On a related note, the odds for the New England Patriots, the previous consensus favorites, have been downgraded to around 75/1 given that they’re now almost certain to lose the AFC East.

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

Miami sent shockwaves through the football world on Friday, signing megastar free agent WR Allen Hurns. Vegas sportsbooks have responded accordingly, moving the Dolphins from 500-1 to co-favorites with the Chiefs at 7-1.  Some books, like Caesar’s, have gone even further, making the Dolphins favorites against the field at 1-5 odds.  Bovada has taken the bet off the board entirely.

This was to be expected after the big news on Friday morning.  There’s no doubt that money has come pouring in on the Dolphins over the last several hours, from both the public and sharps alike.  On a related note, the odds for the New England Patriots, the previous consensus favorites, have been downgraded to around 75/1 given that they’re now almost certain to lose the AFC East.

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

Schefter: Gordon Holdout Not About Contract

Per a new report from Adam Schefter, Melvin Gordon is thrilled with his current contract and harbors no ill will towards the Chargers.  But the holdout RB has become unmoored by the sudden realization that his name is “Melvin.”  Schefter elaborated, “He went his whole life without really thinking about it, and then it just hit him all at once.”  Since experiencing this revelation, Gordon has reportedly refused to leave his bedroom and has spent the last several days babbling incoherently and occasionally yelling, “Melvin?!” at no one in particular.

This latest report is a stunner, and changes the dynamic of the situation considerably.  Gordon’s contractual value was up for debate, but there’s no question that “Melvin,” is just an absolutely bonkers name to give a human being.  It’s hard to see a quick resolution to this, and it’s looking more and more like this holdout will stretch into the season.

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

Per a new report from Adam Schefter, Melvin Gordon is thrilled with his current contract and harbors no ill will towards the Chargers.  But the holdout RB has become unmoored by the sudden realization that his name is “Melvin.”  Schefter elaborated, “He went his whole life without really thinking about it, and then it just hit him all at once.”  Since experiencing this revelation, Gordon has reportedly refused to leave his bedroom and has spent the last several days babbling incoherently and occasionally yelling, “Melvin?!” at no one in particular.

This latest report is a stunner, and changes the dynamic of the situation considerably.  Gordon’s contractual value was up for debate, but there’s no question that “Melvin,” is just an absolutely bonkers name to give a human being.  It’s hard to see a quick resolution to this, and it’s looking more and more like this holdout will stretch into the season.

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

Todd Gurley’s Knee Possessed by Vengeful Poltergeist, RB Says, “It’s All Good”

According to Vincent Bonsignore of the The Athletic, Gurley has suffered yet another setback on his injured left knee, as an evil spirit claiming to be the ghost of a murdered California pioneer has reportedly taken up residence between his meniscus and articular cartilage.  Gurley did not seemed phased, telling reporters that he plans to be “full speed” come Week 1, and that despite the horrifying and rage-filled screams emanating from his knee, “there’s no reason to be concerned.”

Gurley’s comments were echoed by Rams coach Todd McVay, who was sporting a mysterious black eye on Friday.  “Todd is doing great, and we have no plans to limit him at all,” he said, counter to rumors that he is desperately trying to trade multiple 1st round picks to the Giants for Saquon Barkley. “Todd’s knee may have told me that it wants to wash the earth in the blood of the innocent, but Todd himself told me that he’s feeling 100%, so we have no issues.”  The comments from Gurley and McVay are certainly comforting, but fantasy players and Rams fans may want to keep an eye on this situation.

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

According to Vincent Bonsignore of the The Athletic, Gurley has suffered yet another setback on his injured left knee, as an evil spirit claiming to be the ghost of a murdered California pioneer has reportedly taken up residence between his meniscus and articular cartilage.  Gurley did not seemed phased, telling reporters that he plans to be “full speed” come Week 1, and that despite the horrifying and rage-filled screams emanating from his knee, “there’s no reason to be concerned.”

Gurley’s comments were echoed by Rams coach Todd McVay, who was sporting a mysterious black eye on Friday.  “Todd is doing great, and we have no plans to limit him at all,” he said, counter to rumors that he is desperately trying to trade multiple 1st round picks to the Giants for Saquon Barkley. “Todd’s knee may have told me that it wants to wash the earth in the blood of the innocent, but Todd himself told me that he’s feeling 100%, so we have no issues.”  The comments from Gurley and McVay are certainly comforting, but fantasy players and Rams fans may want to keep an eye on this situation.

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

Report: Tyreek Hill Down to His Last Six or Seven Chances

The NFL came down forcefully on Hill Thursday, saying that the recent assault allegations against him are, “not great,” and that if he continues to shatter the arms of toddlers he may face harsh discipline, such as a strongly worded letter. “Tyreek committed an oopsie,” said Commissioner Rodger Goodell, “and unfortunately this is getting too much attention for me to look the other way.”

Yikes. This is terrible news for dynasty owners, as Hill just cannot be trusted on ice that thin. It’s only a matter of time before the Chiefs All-Pro does something truly heinous in the eyes of the league, like commit a murder or smoke weed. Sell now while you still can.

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

The NFL came down forcefully on Hill Thursday, saying that the recent assault allegations against him are, “not great,” and that if he continues to shatter the arms of toddlers he may face harsh discipline, such as a strongly worded letter. “Tyreek committed an oopsie,” said Commissioner Rodger Goodell, “and unfortunately this is getting too much attention for me to look the other way.”

Yikes. This is terrible news for dynasty owners, as Hill just cannot be trusted on ice that thin. It’s only a matter of time before the Chiefs All-Pro does something truly heinous in the eyes of the league, like commit a murder or smoke weed. Sell now while you still can.

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

Rivers Hospitalized After Catastrophic Father’s Day

Chargers QB Phillip Rivers is an intensive care unit on Monday after 11 of his sons, in an enthusiastic attempt to wake their father, simultaneously jumped on him. Rivers suffered three broken ribs and a collapsed lung. To make matters worse, a seemingly endless barrage of homemade Father’s Day (and subsequently “Get Well Soon”) cards left his hands bloody and raw from paper cuts.

What a brutal blow for Rivers on the eve of training camp. The only potential good news for early drafters is that he has weathered injuries around this time of year before; in June of 2016, the lining of Rivers’ stomach split open after he ate 17 breakfasts in bed, and he still managed to start Week 1. Hopefully he has a similarly speedy recovery. In the meantime, best wishes to him, and to his wife Tiffany who announced on Monday that she is expecting. Mazel Tov!

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

Chargers QB Phillip Rivers is an intensive care unit on Monday after 11 of his sons, in an enthusiastic attempt to wake their father, simultaneously jumped on him. Rivers suffered three broken ribs and a collapsed lung. To make matters worse, a seemingly endless barrage of homemade Father’s Day (and subsequently “Get Well Soon”) cards left his hands bloody and raw from paper cuts.

What a brutal blow for Rivers on the eve of training camp. The only potential good news for early drafters is that he has weathered injuries around this time of year before; in June of 2016, the lining of Rivers’ stomach split open after he ate 17 breakfasts in bed, and he still managed to start Week 1. Hopefully he has a similarly speedy recovery. In the meantime, best wishes to him, and to his wife Tiffany who announced on Monday that she is expecting. Mazel Tov!

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

Shurmur Open to Starting Jones, Breathing Oxygen

Addressing reporters on Thursday, Giants coach Pat Shurmur said he wouldn’t rule out starting his first round rookie QB at some point this season, nor would he rule out continuing to carry out essential functions for survival as human being, such as consuming nutrients or drinking water. “Look, I’ve got an open mind,” Shurmur said. “Whether it’s starting Daniel, or allowing my circulatory system to operate free from obstruction, I’ll certainly entertain ideas if I think they can help this team win or help me avoid excruciating pain and misery.”

This is refreshing to hear, as previous reports had indicated Shurmur was locked into starting the decrepit corpse of Eli Manning, and was also planning to douse his entire body in hydrochloric acid. This has to be music to the ears of Giants fans, Saquon Barkley fantasy owners, and Pat Shurmur’s wife and children.

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

Addressing reporters on Thursday, Giants coach Pat Shurmur said he wouldn’t rule out starting his first round rookie QB at some point this season, nor would he rule out continuing to carry out essential functions for survival as human being, such as consuming nutrients or drinking water. “Look, I’ve got an open mind,” Shurmur said. “Whether it’s starting Daniel, or allowing my circulatory system to operate free from obstruction, I’ll certainly entertain ideas if I think they can help this team win or help me avoid excruciating pain and misery.”

This is refreshing to hear, as previous reports had indicated Shurmur was locked into starting the decrepit corpse of Eli Manning, and was also planning to douse his entire body in hydrochloric acid. This has to be music to the ears of Giants fans, Saquon Barkley fantasy owners, and Pat Shurmur’s wife and children.

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

Wentz Becomes Highest Paid QB, Richest Person to Have Ever Set Foot in North Dakota

Carson Wentz landed an extension worth $128 million in new money, which easily puts him ahead of real estate developer David Beck as the wealthiest person to have ever, at any point in their life, physically crossed the state lines of either North or South Dakota. “We’ve always felt that Carson would be a record-setting quarterback and this is only the beginning,” said Eagles GM Howie Roseman.

Beck had held the record since 2008, when his chartered flight had to make an emergency fueling stop in Bismark. This news is great for Wentz’ longterm outlook as he now has both the talent and organizational stability to rewrite the history books. He spent a few summers in Idaho and has driven through Delaware many times. With a lucrative third contract Wentz could truly become a legend.

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter

Carson Wentz landed an extension worth $128 million in new money, which easily puts him ahead of real estate developer David Beck as the wealthiest person to have ever, at any point in their life, physically crossed the state lines of either North or South Dakota. “We’ve always felt that Carson would be a record-setting quarterback and this is only the beginning,” said Eagles GM Howie Roseman.

Beck had held the record since 2008, when his chartered flight had to make an emergency fueling stop in Bismark. This news is great for Wentz’ longterm outlook as he now has both the talent and organizational stability to rewrite the history books. He spent a few summers in Idaho and has driven through Delaware many times. With a lucrative third contract Wentz could truly become a legend.

Source: RotoBroski on Twitter