Blurbs by FF Podiatrist

REPORT: Gruden Letting Absolutely Everything Slide Forced AB to Consider Staying

Amid his escalating attempts to get fired from the Raiders, Antonio Brown was forced to seriously consider staying put after discovering John Gruden’s near total leniency for outrageous behavior. “My family–they were laughing at me, like, ‘what’s it gonna take to get you outta there?'” said Brown late Saturday night. “I really called that man a white devil to his face and Coach just said, ‘I hope this all works out.’ I painted my old helmet silver and ran out on the field. I literally did that. He was all, ‘You’re the man, AB!’ For a minute I thought, ‘Shit, maybe this can work. I’m like a deity to this poor man.’ Of course then Mike voided my guarantees.”

Brown may quiet down now that he’s in New England. Tom Brady has reportedly extended Brown the use of his home and hot air balloon landing pad.

Source: FF Podiatrist on Twitter

Amid his escalating attempts to get fired from the Raiders, Antonio Brown was forced to seriously consider staying put after discovering John Gruden’s near total leniency for outrageous behavior. “My family–they were laughing at me, like, ‘what’s it gonna take to get you outta there?'” said Brown late Saturday night. “I really called that man a white devil to his face and Coach just said, ‘I hope this all works out.’ I painted my old helmet silver and ran out on the field. I literally did that. He was all, ‘You’re the man, AB!’ For a minute I thought, ‘Shit, maybe this can work. I’m like a deity to this poor man.’ Of course then Mike voided my guarantees.”

Brown may quiet down now that he’s in New England. Tom Brady has reportedly extended Brown the use of his home and hot air balloon landing pad.

Source: FF Podiatrist on Twitter

Jerry Jones Refuses To Condemn Fasciitis In Strongest Possible Terms

“Look, fasciitis–it’s bad, right? It’s not good,” said Jerry Jones at Tuesday’s practice. “But if anti-fasciitis means embracing every radical solution these doctors come up with–I mean, look at AB, froze his foot right off. Sometimes it’s the cure that kills.” Team doctors have proscribed an aggressive agenda of rest for Amari Cooper’s plantar fasciitis, but apparently that is not sitting well with the Cowboy’s owner. “I’m not pro, I’m not anti. There’s good people on both sides of this thing,” said Jones.

The medical consensus is that plantar fasciitis is antithetical to the norms of foot health. We’ll see if Jones’ tolerance of flare-ups continues once the regular season games arrive.

Source: FF Podiatrist on Twitter

“Look, fasciitis–it’s bad, right? It’s not good,” said Jerry Jones at Tuesday’s practice. “But if anti-fasciitis means embracing every radical solution these doctors come up with–I mean, look at AB, froze his foot right off. Sometimes it’s the cure that kills.” Team doctors have proscribed an aggressive agenda of rest for Amari Cooper’s plantar fasciitis, but apparently that is not sitting well with the Cowboy’s owner. “I’m not pro, I’m not anti. There’s good people on both sides of this thing,” said Jones.

The medical consensus is that plantar fasciitis is antithetical to the norms of foot health. We’ll see if Jones’ tolerance of flare-ups continues once the regular season games arrive.

Source: FF Podiatrist on Twitter

Antonio Brown Suggests Imminent Return on Instagram; Jon Gruden Claims “Radio Silence” Continues

Hunkered down next to his Yaesu VX-6R ham radio, Jon Gruden insists there has been no sign of the star receiver since he went AWOL. “I’ve been monitoring the airwaves 24/7 since AB left, and nothing. He’s out there somewhere though.” Brown claimed via Instagram Monday that he looked forward to rejoining his teammates soon and is excited for the upcoming season.

It appears that Brown is taking this latest fiasco in stride. Meanwhile, if the radio silence ever breaks, the Raiders brain trust will be listening.

Source: FF Podiatrist on Twitter

Hunkered down next to his Yaesu VX-6R ham radio, Jon Gruden insists there has been no sign of the star receiver since he went AWOL. “I’ve been monitoring the airwaves 24/7 since AB left, and nothing. He’s out there somewhere though.” Brown claimed via Instagram Monday that he looked forward to rejoining his teammates soon and is excited for the upcoming season.

It appears that Brown is taking this latest fiasco in stride. Meanwhile, if the radio silence ever breaks, the Raiders brain trust will be listening.

Source: FF Podiatrist on Twitter